Ok... AF is being a total and complete bitch. First off, of course she's not wanted. Second off, she hasn't showed yet. She's been teasing me for about a week now. I'm CD 29 today... which is a long cycle for me. Over the past year its been an average of 25-26 days. I can hear you all now... "have you tested???". Well no, actually I haven't. That's a sure fire way to have AF show up you know. But my curiosity will get the better of me I'm sure and if this goes on for much longer I'll break down. But it won't. My poking doctor told me that AF was coming. He know's everything don't ya know!
I have a complaint / comment. Why is it that almost every episode of "A Baby Story" on TLC are about couples that "surprisingly" got pregnant right after they got married? Why can't they have stories of how people struggled with infertility for years? If there is any, I haven't seen them. Its always the happy [Gag] couple that decide its time to start a family... and BANG they're knocked up. Or this is thier 10th child and all is good with the world.
FUCK
Apparently I should not stay home from work and watch these shows. As if I'm not already crazy enough!
So I had an interesting evening last night. I read/post on a bulletin board regarding IVF at the clinic I will be cycling at. Last night some of the ladies decided to get together, have some food, and chat. (with a desert run to Sugar Mountain!). Anyway getting myself there was holy fucking hard. I had a knot in my belly. But once I got there I felt completely comfortable. We all shared our stories and got to know each other. It was quite nice actually. Being someone who's heading to IVF for the first time, I found it to be a great help to sit and talk to these girls. We had a great time and they are all pretty cool chicks!
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So what was it like being in a support group? -- I'm hesitant about going because I get too emotional hearing tragedy after tragedy, and that's why I take solace in the online thing because I can pick and choose whom I read... There is a local support group that I've thought about going to called Robin's Eggs (the RE's first name is Robin and these patients of hers came up with the group). I haven't gone yet...
As for t.v. I can't watch those shows with the baby stuff, and even HBO's Six Feet Under is getting all into a baby storyline -- I thought for sure a show about wacky oversexed funeral directors would be a good distraction, but alas... they are all procreating and now I'm too invested in the characters to quit watching.
IF sucks -- it sucks you into obsessive behavior patterns, sucks you dry financially, and sucks your spirit... someday we'll be mothers.
The metformin didn't mess me up very much. I actually quite love it -- I lost nine pounds on it without changing a damn thing in my life, and I ovulated on my own in May AND in June (even though I didn't conceive, it was nice to see that those stupid ovaries are starting to do their job). If you ease into using the metformin (take only a half dose at first and slowly increase the dose to what you are supposed to use) and take it with milk it'll go better for you as far as the side effect of diarrhea...
I stopped watching those shows by time I hit 1 year. Too emotionally hard for me. I do recall, however, when I first started ttc and was watching "A Baby Story", the couple didn't concieve for 6 months and the woman said, "I was getting scared there was something wrong when it took so long." At the time I thought, "Gee, I couldn't imagine it taking that long!" Here I am, 2 and a half years later...
Infertility bites.
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