Still Here?

I'm sorry there have been no posts. Really I haven't had much to say here or elsewhere for that matter. The past month or so has been weird for me. I've been emotionally up and down so many times its not funny. And the crappy part is that I don't 100% know why. Things are awesome with The Mister and I. The Boy is going through some terrible 2 days, but nothing crazy. I can handle it. Maybe it’s the whole upcoming IVF that's got me messed up. I've been scraping and saving to do another round and yet I still have to borrow a huge chunk of cash from my parents. It sucks.

"Hey Mom? ya, so can I borrow say, oh, $8,000? I'll pay you back… I promise!"

Of course she said yes because she knows she'll get paid back within a couple of months, and she's my mother. But that's not the point. AF decided to visit yesterday so that's got me a little on the moody side too I think. I should be calling in with my next day 1 around December 13th. HOPEFULLY I'll get in to be able to cycle then. December kind of messes things up because they close over the holidays. I know waiting until January isn't that long, but I want to start now.

I think what's bugging me about this whole upcoming cycle is that it took me so damn long to get here. This time last year I was going to an info session so that I could get ready to cycle in December/January. Then we decided to wait a couple of months so that our trip to Cuba would be enjoyable for sure and I wouldn't have to worry about being in the middle of a cycle, or have already cycled, been successful and be sick or something. So we waited. Then we try in March/April and I get cancelled. Another couple of months goes by and we cycle again in June/July. Well we all know how that turned out now don't we?

So here I am a year later about to start my 4th kick at the can (if you count the cycle that got me The Boy). F.U.C.K.

Today is going to be one of those shitty crappy days… I can just feel it. I'm in a job I don't particularly like so nothing here will cheer me up. I don't particularly like my co-worker. And I just don't want to be here anymore. Anymore period. The Mister and I applied for jobs back home and we're still waiting to hear what is going on. We applied in April and they are still in the screening process. The government drives me crazy some days I tell ya.

I'm in a little bitchy mood… can ya tell?

I need to get out of this mood before tonight. Want to know why?? The Mister and I are going to see R0bin WiIIiams tonight!!! WooHoo!!! I'm so freakin' excited. I LOVE him. I've watched his Live on Broadway show more times than you could ever imagine and I can't wait to see him live. Think that'll put me in a better mood?

My parents just left after a weeks visit. It was nice. Rushed as usual but it was good. The Boy is missing them something awful though. He keeps walking around looking for them and calling for Dardoo (the dog) and Baggie (he can't say grammie so he calls her baggie! - which is quite entertaining when we're in a store and he's roaring BAAAAGGGGIE at her across the store). I know we'll see them in just over a month. But that's still too far away. It kills me that my son is growing up without having his grandparents close so he could see them when ever he wanted. Cross your fingers that we can rectify that soon and get those jobs back home.

Ok, breaky is calling. Back sooner than later :)